So today I made an almost fatal mistake and i wish to share this so that people can know what to avoid in the future. I know its a bit of a shift from the normal thoughts that I share on here, but please bear with me. The next post will be a return to the original type of thoughts.
Tonight after basketball a few of us decided to go hot-tubing. We thought that this would be a wonderful way to unwind after such a tiring activity. So we drove up to a house in the mountains to enjoy this hot tub. Upon arrival I noticed that there was a very severe wind, which made it a little more difficult to open the car door. It was bone-chilling walking to the door where Danny let us in the door.
After getting settled down on the couches and waiting for everyone to arrive, we discussed the current situation and decided that we would still go out to the hot tub, despite the adverse weather conditions. So Colin, Danny, Kimee and I all got ready to go outside. I was a little slower to get outside because of a texting conversation I was having.
Danny and Colin removed the cover and attempted to carry it to be set out of the way. Almost immediately the wind grabbed hold of the cover and dragged Danny and Colin across the balcony right into Kimee's face. No significant injuries were sustained.
I finally dragged myself outside and witnessed the aftermath of this event and helped bring the cover inside. After which we all jumped into the hot tub. I, out of instinct almost had grabbed my phone and brought it with me. After a few minutes I realized how foolish this action was. My fingers could hardly move and I had to keep my hand out of the hot water to keep the phone from being blown into the water.
After five minutes of torture to my hand I finally just set the phone down on the ground just outside of the hot tub. I put my hand into the hot water and found quick relief to the numbing cold of the wind. I assumed that it was going to get better from here on out.
I soon found out that a cold hand was the least of my concerns. After another ten minutes went by my right hand cramped up and I could no longer fully extend my fingers. Everyone soon new my situation due to the shouts of panic I let out. Before I knew it my other hand was doing the same thing. I could really figure out what to do, so I finally just let my hands adjust to the seemingly scalding water. Eventually the hands stopped spasming and were able to once again flex correctly.
No sooner did this happen when I realized that my feet were on the heat source, which was a little hot for my taste. The only way I could adjust was to stretch out on my side of the tub. Things seemed to be ok for the moment and I was happy, for a moment.
We soon turned on the jets to massage our backs. The jets laughed in my face, and by laughing I mean splashing water into my face. I now had to continually dip my head in the water to keep it from getting numb. This however lead to a problem I hadn't completely realized. By getting my face wet, the face would cool down significantly faster, making dips more frequent and more rewarding.
Before I knew it everyone had shifted positions due to the wind direction and were now leaning on me. I'm not entirely sure how it happened, because I was distracted by a very cold face, but it seemed very sudden. The other three had plenty of room to stretch out, while I was left curled up and trapped by the heads placed on my body.
After getting blasted by the frigid air, I succombed to peer pressure and layed down in the same direction as everyone else in the pool. This proved to be an almost fatal decision on my part. After a little time had passed I found myself lodged against the side wall with colin still moving in my direction, even though he was pretty close to me already.
Danny suddenly jumped out of the water and bolted inside. I turned to look at his graceful run back to warmth and shelter from the wind, and was greeted with a large splash of water in my face. This new position I found to not be in my favor. The jet would splash water onto my face every few seconds, leaving my face more and more exposed to the air. Colin was quick to let me know the reason for my face being extra cold. I hadn't shaved for a few days.
"You should have shaved this morning," Colin shouted over the roar of the wind
"I didn't know things were going to be like this," I quickly defended myself.
"You're a boy scout, you should be prepared for things like this."
"I thought I looked good like this."
"But you should have shaved it off this morning."
"I wanted to wait till next week."
"I bet your going to shave it off tomorrow."
"I'll forget by tomorrow, who am I kidding, I'll remember it tomorrow."
"That's for sure, you bearded man."
We had many conversations like this one, all pointing to how ill prepared we were for this experience. Mostly making fun of my particular circumstances. Then we discovered that Colin had been sitting on the heat source for quite some time. I fight for the hot spot then ensued between Colin and Kimee, with Colin eventually agreeing to share rights to the hot spot.
I soon chimed in that it would be a good idea to let me experience some warmth from the heat source. We shifted and I was placed over the hot spot, but I couldn't feel any extra heat. Colin quickly pushed me down into the water so that I could get warmed up, but I still didn't really notice a difference. Upon mentioning this fact I was kicked out of my spot and found myself standing in the cold air, pretty exposed. I decided that this may be the time to make my dash to house. So I got out of the hot tub and remembered that I had my phone out there and turned around to grab it. I then dashed inside greeted by warmth and a dry towel.
It took several more minutes for Kimee to come in, shivering and grateful for the warmth. As Kimee saw Colin making a run for the door she blocked the door so that Colin couldn't come inside. We were able to witness Colin do a clever hop around dance to stay warm, and thankfully a few seconds later Kimee let him in.
We all warmed up for about fifteen more minutes and then we decided to put the cover back on. With four of us holding the cover we felt that it would work out better then the attempt to take it off. It carried us a little ways at first, but then we were able to get the cover on, with a loud thud as the wind pushed the fold into its proper position. We latched it and ran back inside, at which point I suggested that we never do that again.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Family
Hopefully this makes sense as I write it. The thoughts that I have had make sense to me and I hope that I can convey what I mean effectively.
I have been in Arizona for the last few days visiting my Aunt and Uncle, my two cousins, Grandma, and my dad, brother, and sister. When I was first told about our trip my thoughts turned to how much different life is for me when I am down in Phoenix. I was sad to be leaving behind my friends in Fort Collins, and all the fun things that I do with them. It hadn't quite settled on me that I had the opportunity to see some important people that I hadn't heard from, let alone seen for about a year. Needless to say I was less then enthusiastic about my trip out of town.
The last three days have changed my perspective in what I consider a significant way. I think that it is easy to take family for granted when they live in town like mine does. I can easily just drive across town to see them almost any time that I want to. When I woke up on Saturday morning to the sounds of my three year old cousin, it didn't take long before I went out to see my family. It was really surprising to see how much my two cousins had changed in a short year. I feel like they are almost twice as big. The three year old can actually form sentences and respond somewhat logically when I talk with him. So what did I miss in this last year.
I was talking with my aunt for about an hour just sharing different experiences from the past year. I was fascinated to find out how much things had actually changed for her family in the last year. And I had absolutely no idea. But on the same note, my aunt had no idea about half of the changes that had happened to me in the last year. (she does get frequent updates from my dad and so she knows a bit about me.)
The fascinating thing is the fact that nothing had changed in our relationships. We were able to pick up right where we left off. This hardly ever happens with our friends. Sometimes we have a close enough friendship with someone that long periods between contact don't really affect anything. With these friends we can see the same effect take place.
So what is it that is so important about family? What is this special bond that can bridge almost any obstacle, whether it be time and space away from each other, trials that may come, or even difficulties between family members themselves?
Even in non-traditional families this same bond can be seen, though in a different light. Maybe the bond between the mother and the father can be severed and that relationship changes, but this doesn't necessarily change the relationship between the children and each individual parent. It almost becomes a revitalization in some situations, where previous barriers are dissolved and a relationship can continue on and be like it would have been if the barrier had never been there. I have seen this in talking with many different friends, and through other observations, and so far i haven't really found any discrepancies in the results.
So obviously the family has a role that cannot be replaced, no matter how much we can try. Even though my friends play a huge role in my life right now, I always turn to my family for so much that my friends can't really offer to me. And this isn't to discredit my friends at all. They are fantastic. I don't know what I would do without them.
I do however know what i would do without each member of my family. I won't go into details here, but as I have reflected I have come to know the role of each family member in my life, and the gaps that would be present in my life. I don't think that anyone else could really fill those roles.
I think that no matter what our family circumstance is, we have something to be grateful for. They do so much for us, even if we are oblivious to this fact.
I am truly grateful for my family and everything they mean to me. And at this time of year I think that is something that comes out in everyone. No matter what phase in life we are in. And that's why families come together during the holiday season. Because we each have some family tie that gets realized, and which we honor with our time.
How wonderful it is to have our families. Cherish them for all the good that they bring. And forget the pain that some individuals cause. These actions will bring us joy and happiness this Christmas season and as long as we keep that as a focus.
I have been in Arizona for the last few days visiting my Aunt and Uncle, my two cousins, Grandma, and my dad, brother, and sister. When I was first told about our trip my thoughts turned to how much different life is for me when I am down in Phoenix. I was sad to be leaving behind my friends in Fort Collins, and all the fun things that I do with them. It hadn't quite settled on me that I had the opportunity to see some important people that I hadn't heard from, let alone seen for about a year. Needless to say I was less then enthusiastic about my trip out of town.
The last three days have changed my perspective in what I consider a significant way. I think that it is easy to take family for granted when they live in town like mine does. I can easily just drive across town to see them almost any time that I want to. When I woke up on Saturday morning to the sounds of my three year old cousin, it didn't take long before I went out to see my family. It was really surprising to see how much my two cousins had changed in a short year. I feel like they are almost twice as big. The three year old can actually form sentences and respond somewhat logically when I talk with him. So what did I miss in this last year.
I was talking with my aunt for about an hour just sharing different experiences from the past year. I was fascinated to find out how much things had actually changed for her family in the last year. And I had absolutely no idea. But on the same note, my aunt had no idea about half of the changes that had happened to me in the last year. (she does get frequent updates from my dad and so she knows a bit about me.)
The fascinating thing is the fact that nothing had changed in our relationships. We were able to pick up right where we left off. This hardly ever happens with our friends. Sometimes we have a close enough friendship with someone that long periods between contact don't really affect anything. With these friends we can see the same effect take place.
So what is it that is so important about family? What is this special bond that can bridge almost any obstacle, whether it be time and space away from each other, trials that may come, or even difficulties between family members themselves?
Even in non-traditional families this same bond can be seen, though in a different light. Maybe the bond between the mother and the father can be severed and that relationship changes, but this doesn't necessarily change the relationship between the children and each individual parent. It almost becomes a revitalization in some situations, where previous barriers are dissolved and a relationship can continue on and be like it would have been if the barrier had never been there. I have seen this in talking with many different friends, and through other observations, and so far i haven't really found any discrepancies in the results.
So obviously the family has a role that cannot be replaced, no matter how much we can try. Even though my friends play a huge role in my life right now, I always turn to my family for so much that my friends can't really offer to me. And this isn't to discredit my friends at all. They are fantastic. I don't know what I would do without them.
I do however know what i would do without each member of my family. I won't go into details here, but as I have reflected I have come to know the role of each family member in my life, and the gaps that would be present in my life. I don't think that anyone else could really fill those roles.
I think that no matter what our family circumstance is, we have something to be grateful for. They do so much for us, even if we are oblivious to this fact.
I am truly grateful for my family and everything they mean to me. And at this time of year I think that is something that comes out in everyone. No matter what phase in life we are in. And that's why families come together during the holiday season. Because we each have some family tie that gets realized, and which we honor with our time.
How wonderful it is to have our families. Cherish them for all the good that they bring. And forget the pain that some individuals cause. These actions will bring us joy and happiness this Christmas season and as long as we keep that as a focus.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
My recent hiatus
I realize that it has been several days since I last posted anything. I have had much going on trying to get back into CSU. Luckily I am back in now and I am registered for classes so i no longer have to worry about that task. I will have time once again to write down my deep thoughts. Look forward to another post coming tonight. It has been several days in the making.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Assumptions
Life is filled with the need to interact with other people. Our actions are often based on how we feel these other individuals will respond. But it is impossible to know exactly how others feel towards everything. In order to bridge this gap we often make assumptions based on our own thoughts and ideas.
Sometimes this is very beneficial, for it allows us to progress more fully without all the setbacks that could happen. So sometimes it can be good to make assumptions. But we are never completely accurate in our assumptions. In fact at times we are usually wrong. This is not necessarily harmful, but it can be. Incorrect assumptions can ruin friendships and other relationships under some circumstances.
I have noticed that the most harm is done when people relay their assumptions to others, which in turn are regarded as fact. When false knowledge is spread around and is significant enough then reputations are ruined. Peoples egos become deflated and it can take significant amounts of time to restore that which was lost.
Other times we assume that people understand what we are doing, that they know what we want, or that they understand our needs. So often this is not the case. This type of assumption affects us in several ways. The first way is that we are often hurt because we create expectations of how someone will act which are not always fulfilled. But should we necessarily be hurt or disappointed by this? It would be unwise to do this. "They should have known" is a phrase that I hear much to often. While it is true that in some situations people do know exactly what you need, so often this is not the case.
How many times do we look back at things and say I should have done this or that? I do it all the time. It is often so obvious what we should have done when we look back at the situation. But it is so easy to overlook the obvious while in the moment. We hope that others will look past our missed actions. Because we understand the situation we feel justified in this hope. But having this attitude means that we should turn around and understand that this could very well have happened when others fell short of our expectations.
Let us not be so careless as to make inaccurate assumptions. It may be safer to not make assumptions at all. And so that others don't make incorrect assumptions that hurt you, voice the things that matter. Don't be unwise about it. But keep in mind that sometimes those around us need a little help in helping you.
Sometimes this is very beneficial, for it allows us to progress more fully without all the setbacks that could happen. So sometimes it can be good to make assumptions. But we are never completely accurate in our assumptions. In fact at times we are usually wrong. This is not necessarily harmful, but it can be. Incorrect assumptions can ruin friendships and other relationships under some circumstances.
I have noticed that the most harm is done when people relay their assumptions to others, which in turn are regarded as fact. When false knowledge is spread around and is significant enough then reputations are ruined. Peoples egos become deflated and it can take significant amounts of time to restore that which was lost.
Other times we assume that people understand what we are doing, that they know what we want, or that they understand our needs. So often this is not the case. This type of assumption affects us in several ways. The first way is that we are often hurt because we create expectations of how someone will act which are not always fulfilled. But should we necessarily be hurt or disappointed by this? It would be unwise to do this. "They should have known" is a phrase that I hear much to often. While it is true that in some situations people do know exactly what you need, so often this is not the case.
How many times do we look back at things and say I should have done this or that? I do it all the time. It is often so obvious what we should have done when we look back at the situation. But it is so easy to overlook the obvious while in the moment. We hope that others will look past our missed actions. Because we understand the situation we feel justified in this hope. But having this attitude means that we should turn around and understand that this could very well have happened when others fell short of our expectations.
Let us not be so careless as to make inaccurate assumptions. It may be safer to not make assumptions at all. And so that others don't make incorrect assumptions that hurt you, voice the things that matter. Don't be unwise about it. But keep in mind that sometimes those around us need a little help in helping you.
Friday, December 12, 2008
What drives me?
I wasn't sure if i should post this or not. But I decided that perhaps others might enjoy looking at what motivates me. And perhaps by reading this you will ponder on your priorities in life. And trust me, it took a lot of introspection to come to a lot of the conclusions that led to this post.
Over this past year I have had a lot of things change for me. If you had asked me what I would be doing right now, when I moved back to Fort Collins, I never would have guessed correctly. Some of the changes have been for the better, and others have not been so positive.
One huge unexpected thing for me was having this year off from school. I won't go into details here, but CSU hasn't let me take classes for various reasons that really don't make sense to me. Although it is frustrating to have been delayed in my education, I consider the growth that has come to me from it.
I was on the fast track to becoming a doctor. Which really isn't that fast compared to anything other then just a regular graduation path for a doctor. I had chosen this because it just seemed to be a good idea. I knew that I could enjoy a few aspects of this career, but I will admit that I was mostly just looking at the financial aspects. With the semester off I decided that it would be a good idea to really think of what i want to do for a career. In order to do this I felt it required really thinking of what my priorities in life are, and making sure I could accomplish my priorities.
What is most important to me? What should be important to me? What is it that drives me in life? By answering these questions I felt that I could better pick a major/career.
The most prominent thing that drives me to do what I do is my Love of the Lord. If attending every Institute class this semester wasn't a good sign of this let me show this even more plainly. I have had many experiences in the last 5-6 years that have significantly shaped me spiritually. Things that i learned as a priest still remain with me, especially my testimony. I have had to turn to the Lord to get me through my greatest trials and moments of weakness.
I think to my mission and the months that I spent with a broken foot and other foot problems. During these moments of excruciating pain I was put on a bike for a transfer (6 weeks). I physically could not pedal the bike with both legs, which caused a great inconsistency in muscle use. I did not have the most encouraging companion at the time. In fact, he openly tried to make my life miserable. I was brought down to one of the lowest points I've ever been in during my life. I cannot go into details in such a public setting, but I wish to point out that during the moments where I could go no further, I came to truly understand what the Love of my Savior can do for me. I cannot express how much my relationship with Him changed in those moments. I have developed an incredibly deep love for my Savior and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and indebtedness to Him.
This experience, and many others, has made the Savior the number one priority in my life. I am driven to do whatever I can to be worthy of these profound blessings that have been pronounced upon me.
My second priority is my family. Right now it is impossible to describe what all my family has done for me. No one else has been as loyal to me as my family. I know that I can always count on support through the trials. I anticipate that my future family will also fill a similar, though somewhat different role. I don't wish to elaborate on this topic much because I feel that most will understand what a family means to an individual. I also feel that good friends can fit into this category, however I understand that the relationship there is not usually as deep.
My third priority in life is to make other people happy. I find that I do this in two ways. The first is that I make people laugh. I find great joy in making other people laugh. In addition to this I am very happy when I am able to help my friends, and other people in general, to be able to overcome different challenges. I have gone through cycles in my life where at times I will have several people coming to me for advice, and then there are the times where no one is coming to me. I find that I feel a lot more complete when I am able to share my thoughts with those around me.
The fourth priority in my life is music. I constantly have music in my life. I started learning how to play the piano as a young child. This has been a huge benefit to me. Music is a great outlet to me now. It helps me to be able to put my thoughts together and sometimes to really understand what I am feeling. I now focus on other instruments. I find that the guitar allows me to express myself easier. The songs that have the most meaning to me are the ones that I can relate to. I've noticed that some songs can say the things that I cannot fully express with words alone. Music has become my passion for that reason. Ever pulled up beside me in the car? You will see the proof.
My list goes on, but I will end my list here because these are the ones that affect me the most. As I began to truly understand what I need in life, (sometimes you just need to remind yourself), I realized that my current career path could use a change. While I think I could have done a good job being a doctor, I would have had to abandon some of the things that make me who I am. I would not have had much time for my family and I would not be able to do anything music related. That is not something I am willing to do. And its mostly the family time factor.
So I have now been able to find something that will allow me to continue with the things that motivate me for the rest of my life. I am grateful for that.
Over this past year I have had a lot of things change for me. If you had asked me what I would be doing right now, when I moved back to Fort Collins, I never would have guessed correctly. Some of the changes have been for the better, and others have not been so positive.
One huge unexpected thing for me was having this year off from school. I won't go into details here, but CSU hasn't let me take classes for various reasons that really don't make sense to me. Although it is frustrating to have been delayed in my education, I consider the growth that has come to me from it.
I was on the fast track to becoming a doctor. Which really isn't that fast compared to anything other then just a regular graduation path for a doctor. I had chosen this because it just seemed to be a good idea. I knew that I could enjoy a few aspects of this career, but I will admit that I was mostly just looking at the financial aspects. With the semester off I decided that it would be a good idea to really think of what i want to do for a career. In order to do this I felt it required really thinking of what my priorities in life are, and making sure I could accomplish my priorities.
What is most important to me? What should be important to me? What is it that drives me in life? By answering these questions I felt that I could better pick a major/career.
The most prominent thing that drives me to do what I do is my Love of the Lord. If attending every Institute class this semester wasn't a good sign of this let me show this even more plainly. I have had many experiences in the last 5-6 years that have significantly shaped me spiritually. Things that i learned as a priest still remain with me, especially my testimony. I have had to turn to the Lord to get me through my greatest trials and moments of weakness.
I think to my mission and the months that I spent with a broken foot and other foot problems. During these moments of excruciating pain I was put on a bike for a transfer (6 weeks). I physically could not pedal the bike with both legs, which caused a great inconsistency in muscle use. I did not have the most encouraging companion at the time. In fact, he openly tried to make my life miserable. I was brought down to one of the lowest points I've ever been in during my life. I cannot go into details in such a public setting, but I wish to point out that during the moments where I could go no further, I came to truly understand what the Love of my Savior can do for me. I cannot express how much my relationship with Him changed in those moments. I have developed an incredibly deep love for my Savior and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and indebtedness to Him.
This experience, and many others, has made the Savior the number one priority in my life. I am driven to do whatever I can to be worthy of these profound blessings that have been pronounced upon me.
My second priority is my family. Right now it is impossible to describe what all my family has done for me. No one else has been as loyal to me as my family. I know that I can always count on support through the trials. I anticipate that my future family will also fill a similar, though somewhat different role. I don't wish to elaborate on this topic much because I feel that most will understand what a family means to an individual. I also feel that good friends can fit into this category, however I understand that the relationship there is not usually as deep.
My third priority in life is to make other people happy. I find that I do this in two ways. The first is that I make people laugh. I find great joy in making other people laugh. In addition to this I am very happy when I am able to help my friends, and other people in general, to be able to overcome different challenges. I have gone through cycles in my life where at times I will have several people coming to me for advice, and then there are the times where no one is coming to me. I find that I feel a lot more complete when I am able to share my thoughts with those around me.
The fourth priority in my life is music. I constantly have music in my life. I started learning how to play the piano as a young child. This has been a huge benefit to me. Music is a great outlet to me now. It helps me to be able to put my thoughts together and sometimes to really understand what I am feeling. I now focus on other instruments. I find that the guitar allows me to express myself easier. The songs that have the most meaning to me are the ones that I can relate to. I've noticed that some songs can say the things that I cannot fully express with words alone. Music has become my passion for that reason. Ever pulled up beside me in the car? You will see the proof.
My list goes on, but I will end my list here because these are the ones that affect me the most. As I began to truly understand what I need in life, (sometimes you just need to remind yourself), I realized that my current career path could use a change. While I think I could have done a good job being a doctor, I would have had to abandon some of the things that make me who I am. I would not have had much time for my family and I would not be able to do anything music related. That is not something I am willing to do. And its mostly the family time factor.
So I have now been able to find something that will allow me to continue with the things that motivate me for the rest of my life. I am grateful for that.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Pessimism
“A pessimist is someone who feels bad when he feels good for fear he will feel worse when he feels better.”
I saw this quote as I was preparing to leave the institute today and it really grabbed my attention. I did not fully understand this quote when I first read it, but after a little bit of pondering I feel that I have somewhat of an idea what is being said in this statement.
So often we as humans ponder our future more then the present. We see that there is potential for our situation to either improve or to worsen, but rarely will there be true consistency in our lives. Because our lives can change almost instantaneously at times it is easy to be fearful of what the future holds. A focus on the future can prove detrimental at times. This is what the quote speaks of.
When a person is consistently fearful that the situation will worsen, this will become an expectation. When negative outcomes are expected, it is natural to see more of the negative in everything. This attitude allows people to think that even if something good happens its not really that good, because now the situation only has more opportunity to get worse. This is the equivalent to putting on blinders blocking out good things.
Imagine going through life with this kind of attitude. It would be miserable. Yet so often we adopt this mentality, using it as an excuse or rationalization for remaining in our current situation. Why do we do this? Because in one point of view it is easier to think that it just won't work out. If we think that things are never going to work out, we will never be disappointed. However this method of self protection can only harm us.
When we go through life with a positive attitude we focus on the fact that good can happen to us, we seek that. The more we focus on good things the easier it will be to see them. We will indeed be able to have an increased sense of peace, and be better suited to take on the tragedies of life.
Our life is what we truly expect it to be. If we expect things to turn out poorly, they will. At least in our eyes. The converse is true as well. In our human nature we have a combination of both attitudes because we have experienced different emotions with different situations. So most often we are not completely pessimistic or optimistic. Usually, we lie fairly close to the middle. But we can change that with applied effort.
In the past I have had “positive days.” On these days I attempt to block out all negative thoughts and only think about positive things. It has been impossible to completely reach this goal. But I noticed a significant difference in my demeanor. I was happier, not because my situation had changed, but my attitude and focus had. I could see good where I otherwise would have been disappointed. It was amazing to me.
The true challenge in life is to be able to see the positive in everything. Even the greatest are perfect in this. But the resounding words of our former prophet echo in my mind to “try a little harder” and “be a little better.” What would the world be like if everyone were just a little more optimistic?
I saw this quote as I was preparing to leave the institute today and it really grabbed my attention. I did not fully understand this quote when I first read it, but after a little bit of pondering I feel that I have somewhat of an idea what is being said in this statement.
So often we as humans ponder our future more then the present. We see that there is potential for our situation to either improve or to worsen, but rarely will there be true consistency in our lives. Because our lives can change almost instantaneously at times it is easy to be fearful of what the future holds. A focus on the future can prove detrimental at times. This is what the quote speaks of.
When a person is consistently fearful that the situation will worsen, this will become an expectation. When negative outcomes are expected, it is natural to see more of the negative in everything. This attitude allows people to think that even if something good happens its not really that good, because now the situation only has more opportunity to get worse. This is the equivalent to putting on blinders blocking out good things.
Imagine going through life with this kind of attitude. It would be miserable. Yet so often we adopt this mentality, using it as an excuse or rationalization for remaining in our current situation. Why do we do this? Because in one point of view it is easier to think that it just won't work out. If we think that things are never going to work out, we will never be disappointed. However this method of self protection can only harm us.
When we go through life with a positive attitude we focus on the fact that good can happen to us, we seek that. The more we focus on good things the easier it will be to see them. We will indeed be able to have an increased sense of peace, and be better suited to take on the tragedies of life.
Our life is what we truly expect it to be. If we expect things to turn out poorly, they will. At least in our eyes. The converse is true as well. In our human nature we have a combination of both attitudes because we have experienced different emotions with different situations. So most often we are not completely pessimistic or optimistic. Usually, we lie fairly close to the middle. But we can change that with applied effort.
In the past I have had “positive days.” On these days I attempt to block out all negative thoughts and only think about positive things. It has been impossible to completely reach this goal. But I noticed a significant difference in my demeanor. I was happier, not because my situation had changed, but my attitude and focus had. I could see good where I otherwise would have been disappointed. It was amazing to me.
The true challenge in life is to be able to see the positive in everything. Even the greatest are perfect in this. But the resounding words of our former prophet echo in my mind to “try a little harder” and “be a little better.” What would the world be like if everyone were just a little more optimistic?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Missed Cues
Relationships with friends, co workers, acquaintances, colleagues, and especially with romantic interests can be complicated. We try so hard to please people that we find interesting and that we like. But so often we miss great opportunities to greatly improve the relationships that we have.
Why do we miss these opportunities? I believe that one reason we do it is because we become so focused on what we want to see happen that we don’t recognize the things that will improve the happiness of the other individual.
When interacting with our friends it is uncommon to seek to make the other person upset by intentionally avoiding the things that bring them the most joy. In my experience we genuinely seek for the betterment of our friends and loved ones. Why then do we not see the opportunities placed before us? The obvious answer is simply because we don’t see them. However I think that there is more to it in many cases.
In my efforts to try and improve relationships with friends, I have often glanced over the fact that people require different elements of emotional, physical, and mental recognition. I have been guilty of looking only at one aspect when I should have been more observant and understood that the answer was right in front of me. And I’m sure that I am not alone in this fault.
The question then arises, are we being bad friends, or even worse, being bad to our friends? It would be easy to say yes if you were the individual that was needing more and making attempts to improve the relationship. But I really don’t think that it makes us inherently bad people. In these situations I am honestly trying to do things to help my friend, I’m just looking in the wrong places.
Does this suggest that I don’t understand my friends well enough? In some cases I believe that the answer is yes. But even with my closest friends I am not perfect. I find myself all too often missing the cues. The signals that should be setting off red flags. When looking back at different situations it is obvious that I have missed the perfect opportunity to bless someones life.
It is impossible in my mind to notice every signal thrown at you, but I do think that improvements can be made. How can this be done? I don’t have a perfect answer. But the thought that is coming to my mind is to broaden our vision, to be able the step out of our natural thought processes. This requires a significant mental effort, but I think that the pay off can be so rewarding if we can only take a moment to understand the needs of those around us.
Every relationship can be improved, and this is how I am going to attempt to increase the bonds that I have with every one of my friends. But forgive me if I still miss lots of cues. My simple mind cannot understand it all.
Why do we miss these opportunities? I believe that one reason we do it is because we become so focused on what we want to see happen that we don’t recognize the things that will improve the happiness of the other individual.
When interacting with our friends it is uncommon to seek to make the other person upset by intentionally avoiding the things that bring them the most joy. In my experience we genuinely seek for the betterment of our friends and loved ones. Why then do we not see the opportunities placed before us? The obvious answer is simply because we don’t see them. However I think that there is more to it in many cases.
In my efforts to try and improve relationships with friends, I have often glanced over the fact that people require different elements of emotional, physical, and mental recognition. I have been guilty of looking only at one aspect when I should have been more observant and understood that the answer was right in front of me. And I’m sure that I am not alone in this fault.
The question then arises, are we being bad friends, or even worse, being bad to our friends? It would be easy to say yes if you were the individual that was needing more and making attempts to improve the relationship. But I really don’t think that it makes us inherently bad people. In these situations I am honestly trying to do things to help my friend, I’m just looking in the wrong places.
Does this suggest that I don’t understand my friends well enough? In some cases I believe that the answer is yes. But even with my closest friends I am not perfect. I find myself all too often missing the cues. The signals that should be setting off red flags. When looking back at different situations it is obvious that I have missed the perfect opportunity to bless someones life.
It is impossible in my mind to notice every signal thrown at you, but I do think that improvements can be made. How can this be done? I don’t have a perfect answer. But the thought that is coming to my mind is to broaden our vision, to be able the step out of our natural thought processes. This requires a significant mental effort, but I think that the pay off can be so rewarding if we can only take a moment to understand the needs of those around us.
Every relationship can be improved, and this is how I am going to attempt to increase the bonds that I have with every one of my friends. But forgive me if I still miss lots of cues. My simple mind cannot understand it all.
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