Forgiveness

The other night I was sitting at home studying. Since I find it hard to study without music on I turned on the radio. (This was an obvious mistake since I hate listening to commercials). The first few stations that I tuned into were playing commercials, so I started broadening my search. After a little bit I found myself listening to Delilah, (not a regular experience). I listened to a caller pouring out her soul as she requested a song. She was struggling to forgive a friend who had supposedly offended in a very significant way, and who refused to apologize. I don't remember all the details of the experience, however I do remember that the listener was waiting to feel ok with the situation, and thats when she would know she had forgiven her friend. I was impressed by Delilah's response. "Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a conscious decision we make to overlook a debt that is rightfully ours."

I thought that this was profound. So many times we seek for situations to resolve on their own. Or we wait for those who have offended us to apologize or ask for forgiveness. But forgiveness really isn't something that just happens. We have to make a conscious effort to look past the wrongs that have been dealt to us.

We cannot expect to receive restitution for all the offenses toward us. It simply won't happen, no matter how good of a person we are. This is outside our control. But what we can control is our response. We have the option to hold a grudge or to forgive. Human nature makes us feel that we need to hold a grudge, that it is our right to expect corrections to be made. While it is not that harmful to think this way for a little while, if we let these feelings fester in us they can eat away at us and destroy our happiness.

The sooner we let go and make the conscious effort to overlook wrongdoings, the better we will feel. We will not carry the burdens around with us. It is a hard to forgive quickly, but it is worth it. We will be much happier.