Recently my life has been going through a bit of a rough patch. It has taken quite a bit of effort to get myself feeling good about things and to be happy again. I had learned a lot about what it takes to be happy, and written most of these thoughts to be posted here. Then I realized that once again I was unhappy. This caused me to understand that no matter how hard we try to make our lives ideal and make sure that we aren't going to go crazy, inevitably we are going hit some moment that gets the better of us. Its how we learn and grow, so that the next moment we hopefully are strong enough to maintain our personal happiness.
I was going to publish the thoughts that I had, but I think I might just skip that. However, if it is desired I can still put it up because the points are still valid, just not as indestructable as I first assumed.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Societies Imaginary Lines
It is interesting to think about what keeps our society functioning in a normal and safe manner. As I have pondered about this I have come to the conclusion that it is societies imaginary, yet recognized, lines or boundaries. This comes about in many ways.
The first and most obvious deals with traffic. We look at the different lines and signs posted around on the streets. We understand exactly what these lines tell us to do, whether it be to stay on a particular side of the road or to park in a certain section of asphalt. It would be very easy to cross these lines, to drive from one corner of a parking lot to the opposite corner in a straight line, causing us to cross many of these lines. Each one of us has done this on multiple occasions. We know how easy it is to disregard these lines.
Why then do we so meticulously obey the assumed meaning of these lines? Because they protect us. If we were to take away all these lines then it would be mass chaos everywhere, and along with this chaos would be catastrophe.
This is easy to see when looking at traffic, but what about in other aspects of life. We have all created personal boundaries or lines. Most people are able to understand and recognize where these boundaries are for others. However there is a much larger difficulty in respecting the boundaries of everyone because unlike the lines in the middle of the road, there are no clear cut labels telling what to do.
The lack of specific directions of what to do in any given circumstance dealing with interactions with other people creates confusion. We often make mistakes. This is what makes relationships with other people so difficult to start. We are constantly trying to understand what lines to stay in, the places to avoid, places where we need to speed up or slow down, or even where we need to use extreme caution.
It is true that society will teach where many of these lines are, and even more of these lines are highlighted by our conscience. We are not left completely guessing what we can and cannot do. The expectations that are placed before us are not completely hidden. But even though we have a general idea of actions we need to take, it would be so much easier if we understood more of societies hidden lines. However I suppose that it takes a lifetime to understand these lines with any degree of certainty, and by that time many of these lines will have shifted.
The first and most obvious deals with traffic. We look at the different lines and signs posted around on the streets. We understand exactly what these lines tell us to do, whether it be to stay on a particular side of the road or to park in a certain section of asphalt. It would be very easy to cross these lines, to drive from one corner of a parking lot to the opposite corner in a straight line, causing us to cross many of these lines. Each one of us has done this on multiple occasions. We know how easy it is to disregard these lines.
Why then do we so meticulously obey the assumed meaning of these lines? Because they protect us. If we were to take away all these lines then it would be mass chaos everywhere, and along with this chaos would be catastrophe.
This is easy to see when looking at traffic, but what about in other aspects of life. We have all created personal boundaries or lines. Most people are able to understand and recognize where these boundaries are for others. However there is a much larger difficulty in respecting the boundaries of everyone because unlike the lines in the middle of the road, there are no clear cut labels telling what to do.
The lack of specific directions of what to do in any given circumstance dealing with interactions with other people creates confusion. We often make mistakes. This is what makes relationships with other people so difficult to start. We are constantly trying to understand what lines to stay in, the places to avoid, places where we need to speed up or slow down, or even where we need to use extreme caution.
It is true that society will teach where many of these lines are, and even more of these lines are highlighted by our conscience. We are not left completely guessing what we can and cannot do. The expectations that are placed before us are not completely hidden. But even though we have a general idea of actions we need to take, it would be so much easier if we understood more of societies hidden lines. However I suppose that it takes a lifetime to understand these lines with any degree of certainty, and by that time many of these lines will have shifted.
Friday, February 27, 2009
A survey
http://qtrial.qualtrics.com/SE?SID=SV_6zKjGHoRFEF8zVG&SVID=Prod
My sister has entered into a competition at work to get her companies product out to the public. It is survey creating software online. Please answer this simple question. Thanks a ton and if you can add a quick question on your blog too that would be greatly appreciated.
My sister has entered into a competition at work to get her companies product out to the public. It is survey creating software online. Please answer this simple question. Thanks a ton and if you can add a quick question on your blog too that would be greatly appreciated.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Music, A Gateway to the Soul
Music is my life. It has become apparent that I just do better in life when I have music. I perform better in sports if I listen to music before I play. When I want to change my mood the best way to do that is through music. When I want to get frustrations out in a non destructive way it is through music.
Why does music have this profound effect? I think that the reasons are different in many cases for different people, but some principles are universal.
I am very much a lyric listener, meaning I pay attention to the lyrics and that affects in a big way if i like the song or not. For those who are like me in this sense find that the words are able to express how we feel in a way that we can't. It becomes an outlet for the feelings that are bottled up and can't be expressed any other way.
As for sports it takes the right kind of music to get me pumped and invigorated. I find that lyrics for this situation are not as important as the beat and rhythm. It gets the blood flowing and the heart beating. And more importantly it gets you in the right mind set for getting physical and working hard.
I have many playlists for the many different moods that I may be in. I have my basketball playlist, my I hate girls playlist, my girls are awesome playlist, my general frustration with life playlist, and a few more.
I also find great joy in performing music and even more from writing music. This way I can express the thoughts that I am having. Years after the fact I can find different things from what I initially tried to convey in songs i wrote. And that to me is really cool.
Why does music have this profound effect? I think that the reasons are different in many cases for different people, but some principles are universal.
I am very much a lyric listener, meaning I pay attention to the lyrics and that affects in a big way if i like the song or not. For those who are like me in this sense find that the words are able to express how we feel in a way that we can't. It becomes an outlet for the feelings that are bottled up and can't be expressed any other way.
As for sports it takes the right kind of music to get me pumped and invigorated. I find that lyrics for this situation are not as important as the beat and rhythm. It gets the blood flowing and the heart beating. And more importantly it gets you in the right mind set for getting physical and working hard.
I have many playlists for the many different moods that I may be in. I have my basketball playlist, my I hate girls playlist, my girls are awesome playlist, my general frustration with life playlist, and a few more.
I also find great joy in performing music and even more from writing music. This way I can express the thoughts that I am having. Years after the fact I can find different things from what I initially tried to convey in songs i wrote. And that to me is really cool.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
"Why can't you just love me back"
I will start off by saying that this is not a topic that I have the answers for. I was asked to explore a question that I have asked several times myself, yet I have not been able to solidly answer it so far in my life. Yet I will try and write down the observations that I have made. The question is why we like people that don't like us back.
This is something that I'm sure all of us have experienced at some point in our dating lives. Guys have inevitably asked a girl out only to be rejected. Girls have waited for that guy to ask them out, only to find themselves continually waiting. That's a minor example of this phenomenon. And maybe doesn't really approach the heart of the matter because in these cases we only think there is potential that we will develop real interest in this person.
What about those times that we actually spend time and get to know the person that we are interested in? We get to see the qualities that we are looking for in them. At this point we may genuinely like this person. But then we are crushed because they don't share the same interest in us.
Human nature makes us attracted to many different individuals as we try and find a potential spouse. The attraction is felt on many different levels. When it reaches a certain level we throw on the term "like." The reasons for liking someone are vast and very much different for every situation we are in. The thing that connects each of these situations is that they have one or more qualities that we are seeking in a partner.
But not everyone is seeking the same qualities. And we certainly don't all possess the same qualities. Often we want someone who possesses the qualities that we don't have, but need in our life. It is hard to match these up. Thus making it so that we like someone who does not like us back.
One other thought is based on timing. When a relationship is going to be started it requires the right timing. People gain interest on different time tables. Only when the times happen to match up will a relationship actually happen.
Understanding this cycle doesn't make it any easier to be in this predicament. It also doesn't allow us to know how to prevent this from happening either. But maybe it allows us to gain some sense that its ok to be in this predicament.
This is something that I'm sure all of us have experienced at some point in our dating lives. Guys have inevitably asked a girl out only to be rejected. Girls have waited for that guy to ask them out, only to find themselves continually waiting. That's a minor example of this phenomenon. And maybe doesn't really approach the heart of the matter because in these cases we only think there is potential that we will develop real interest in this person.
What about those times that we actually spend time and get to know the person that we are interested in? We get to see the qualities that we are looking for in them. At this point we may genuinely like this person. But then we are crushed because they don't share the same interest in us.
Human nature makes us attracted to many different individuals as we try and find a potential spouse. The attraction is felt on many different levels. When it reaches a certain level we throw on the term "like." The reasons for liking someone are vast and very much different for every situation we are in. The thing that connects each of these situations is that they have one or more qualities that we are seeking in a partner.
But not everyone is seeking the same qualities. And we certainly don't all possess the same qualities. Often we want someone who possesses the qualities that we don't have, but need in our life. It is hard to match these up. Thus making it so that we like someone who does not like us back.
One other thought is based on timing. When a relationship is going to be started it requires the right timing. People gain interest on different time tables. Only when the times happen to match up will a relationship actually happen.
Understanding this cycle doesn't make it any easier to be in this predicament. It also doesn't allow us to know how to prevent this from happening either. But maybe it allows us to gain some sense that its ok to be in this predicament.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Jumping Through Hoops
It has become apparent to me that in order for me to get anything that I want I am being forced to jump through a series of hoops. It has been a little frustrating at times and I have wondered very seriously, why can't something I want just come easy to me right now? The more that I have thought about it the more clear the answer has become.
Recent challenges have made me put a lot of effort into accomplishing anything. Things don't seem to come as easily as they used to. And I think that this is how life is supposed to be. We cannot become truly great in anything without having to overcome obstacles. Why is this? Because strength comes through resistance. This is a truth that we constantly hear from those who we consider successful.
But I think there is something more to it then just overcoming these obstacles. I recently found this quote from Theodore Roosevelt, “the boy who is going to make a great man must not make up his mind merely to overcome a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats.” I think this puts things into a slightly different perspective.
What does it take to "win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats?" I guess that we have to figure out what the competitor is that we are winning over before we can really understand what this phrase means. We are trying to defeat our natural tendencies to take the easy route, where the rewards aren't as great. So we could say that our competitor is our own self.
This places a greater responsibility on ones self for success. Obviously there are other factors that can affect the outcomes of our efforts, but I don't think that is what it is all about. Sometimes the greatest successes come from doing hard things even though we know we are going to fail.
So much of "success" in life is dependent on our attitude and our desire to make things happen. This is exactly what Roosevelt was saying. That in order to become a great man or woman we must make the conscious decision to do whatever it takes to get what we want.
As I have so often been reminded. We can't achieve anything until we experience failure.
Recent challenges have made me put a lot of effort into accomplishing anything. Things don't seem to come as easily as they used to. And I think that this is how life is supposed to be. We cannot become truly great in anything without having to overcome obstacles. Why is this? Because strength comes through resistance. This is a truth that we constantly hear from those who we consider successful.
But I think there is something more to it then just overcoming these obstacles. I recently found this quote from Theodore Roosevelt, “the boy who is going to make a great man must not make up his mind merely to overcome a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats.” I think this puts things into a slightly different perspective.
What does it take to "win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats?" I guess that we have to figure out what the competitor is that we are winning over before we can really understand what this phrase means. We are trying to defeat our natural tendencies to take the easy route, where the rewards aren't as great. So we could say that our competitor is our own self.
This places a greater responsibility on ones self for success. Obviously there are other factors that can affect the outcomes of our efforts, but I don't think that is what it is all about. Sometimes the greatest successes come from doing hard things even though we know we are going to fail.
So much of "success" in life is dependent on our attitude and our desire to make things happen. This is exactly what Roosevelt was saying. That in order to become a great man or woman we must make the conscious decision to do whatever it takes to get what we want.
As I have so often been reminded. We can't achieve anything until we experience failure.
Who we really are, does it change
People are very interesting creatures. It seems that so often that I am drawn to look at who I am and how things have progressed over the years. It is apparent that I am not the same as I was when I was eleven. What brought about these noticeable differences in my behavior? Am I really a different person then I was eleven years ago? Have these changes made me different person? The answer may come in looking at myself eleven years ago, and then looking at myself now, and then comparing the two.
Eleven years ago I moved to Fort Collins. I quickly became friends with my neighbor Matt. We did many things together including; entertaining people, spiritual church stuff, getting into trouble, and pretty much everything you would expect friends to do together, except go to school together. I didn't talk much with anyone but Matt and my family. Everyone else was essentially just an acquaintance on some level or another. I really struggled socially.
My focus was on reading. I could be found reading when I wasn't doing homework or doing things with my friends and family. I was reading books that would not be expected for kids of my age. I was forced into participating in music because my parents thought it would be good for me. I hadn't watched a sports game, aside from a couple nuggets games, up to this point. I failed to see what was so interesting in them.
Simply put, at age eleven I was a complete NERD!!!!
What is it that makes me who I am today? I spend a good portion of the day seeking people that I can interact with. I love people and prefer to spend most of my time with other people. I have a good base of friends and love meeting new people.
Sports are probably the biggest focus in my life aside from school, church, and girls. I devote a lot of time to playing and watching many different sports. I have a passion for music. It still has a strong influence in all that I do. It really connects everything else in my life. And i actually seek out opportunities to play musical instruments of all varieties.
On the surface it would seem that I am a new person, that my personality has been altered. What has caused this change? As I have grown I have been able to experience more differing situations. It would be easy to say that my essential character has changed. But I wish to present a different view point. Our essential character doesn't change, our circumstances allow us to understand ourselves better and our true self becomes more apparent.
I base some of this on conversations I've had with family members. They don't really notice any changes in who I really am. According to them I have the same personality traits and behavioral tendencies.
As I have pondered on how I have grown and developed I think that my mission changed a lot of my perspectives. I learned a lot through study and observation and even just being forced to adapt to different situations. A few of the most important bits of knowledge gained were insights into who I really am and what I really enjoy.
Doctrines of gospel which were greatly researched during my days as a missionary also point to this same idea. Knowing about existence before this life and knowing that we had the same personality then are very significant in this analysis. Our spirits are in a constant struggle to overcome our mortal bodies. So the more we learn about ourselves the more we discover what our spirits really are. Our spirit is what our essential character really is. And that is not something that is easily changed, if at all.
Eleven years ago I moved to Fort Collins. I quickly became friends with my neighbor Matt. We did many things together including; entertaining people, spiritual church stuff, getting into trouble, and pretty much everything you would expect friends to do together, except go to school together. I didn't talk much with anyone but Matt and my family. Everyone else was essentially just an acquaintance on some level or another. I really struggled socially.
My focus was on reading. I could be found reading when I wasn't doing homework or doing things with my friends and family. I was reading books that would not be expected for kids of my age. I was forced into participating in music because my parents thought it would be good for me. I hadn't watched a sports game, aside from a couple nuggets games, up to this point. I failed to see what was so interesting in them.
Simply put, at age eleven I was a complete NERD!!!!
What is it that makes me who I am today? I spend a good portion of the day seeking people that I can interact with. I love people and prefer to spend most of my time with other people. I have a good base of friends and love meeting new people.
Sports are probably the biggest focus in my life aside from school, church, and girls. I devote a lot of time to playing and watching many different sports. I have a passion for music. It still has a strong influence in all that I do. It really connects everything else in my life. And i actually seek out opportunities to play musical instruments of all varieties.
On the surface it would seem that I am a new person, that my personality has been altered. What has caused this change? As I have grown I have been able to experience more differing situations. It would be easy to say that my essential character has changed. But I wish to present a different view point. Our essential character doesn't change, our circumstances allow us to understand ourselves better and our true self becomes more apparent.
I base some of this on conversations I've had with family members. They don't really notice any changes in who I really am. According to them I have the same personality traits and behavioral tendencies.
As I have pondered on how I have grown and developed I think that my mission changed a lot of my perspectives. I learned a lot through study and observation and even just being forced to adapt to different situations. A few of the most important bits of knowledge gained were insights into who I really am and what I really enjoy.
Doctrines of gospel which were greatly researched during my days as a missionary also point to this same idea. Knowing about existence before this life and knowing that we had the same personality then are very significant in this analysis. Our spirits are in a constant struggle to overcome our mortal bodies. So the more we learn about ourselves the more we discover what our spirits really are. Our spirit is what our essential character really is. And that is not something that is easily changed, if at all.
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