Assumptions

Life is filled with the need to interact with other people. Our actions are often based on how we feel these other individuals will respond. But it is impossible to know exactly how others feel towards everything. In order to bridge this gap we often make assumptions based on our own thoughts and ideas.

Sometimes this is very beneficial, for it allows us to progress more fully without all the setbacks that could happen. So sometimes it can be good to make assumptions. But we are never completely accurate in our assumptions. In fact at times we are usually wrong. This is not necessarily harmful, but it can be. Incorrect assumptions can ruin friendships and other relationships under some circumstances.

I have noticed that the most harm is done when people relay their assumptions to others, which in turn are regarded as fact. When false knowledge is spread around and is significant enough then reputations are ruined. Peoples egos become deflated and it can take significant amounts of time to restore that which was lost.

Other times we assume that people understand what we are doing, that they know what we want, or that they understand our needs. So often this is not the case. This type of assumption affects us in several ways. The first way is that we are often hurt because we create expectations of how someone will act which are not always fulfilled. But should we necessarily be hurt or disappointed by this? It would be unwise to do this. "They should have known" is a phrase that I hear much to often. While it is true that in some situations people do know exactly what you need, so often this is not the case.

How many times do we look back at things and say I should have done this or that? I do it all the time. It is often so obvious what we should have done when we look back at the situation. But it is so easy to overlook the obvious while in the moment. We hope that others will look past our missed actions. Because we understand the situation we feel justified in this hope. But having this attitude means that we should turn around and understand that this could very well have happened when others fell short of our expectations.

Let us not be so careless as to make inaccurate assumptions. It may be safer to not make assumptions at all. And so that others don't make incorrect assumptions that hurt you, voice the things that matter. Don't be unwise about it. But keep in mind that sometimes those around us need a little help in helping you.