Fear

Overcoming fear is one of the hardest things to do in life. We all have fears. Whether large or small, they are present with each one of us. Each of us has our own unique set of fears. A set which makes us our own person.

What is the purpose of fears? We know that most fears are present to protect us in some form or another. God has given men basic instincts in order for men to survive. Without fear we humans would be more prone to do things contrary to our own safety. Essentially we would be prone to slowly destroy ourselves.

But we seem to develop fears outside of the basic survival instincts. These are the fears that are unique to us. Ones that don't seem to protect our physical well being, but rather something more personal, and maybe more meaningful. The fears that I mention here are ones that protect our ego, our character, our emotional well being. Lets call these ego fears.

Which of these is more important? The answer to this begins with a look at the surrounding of the individual we are considering. In early human history it would be easy to argue that the innate sense of survival was what perpetuated the human race, and was therefore the more important of the two fears. As time has progressed we notice a complete change in society where physical survival becomes less of an issue to the average individual. With this shift we can see a deeper level of interaction within the society. This causes a need for more of a protection of the inner self, ego fears.

How do we develop our individual ego fears? It is based on who we spend our time with. Our family in a large part can help us develop these fears. We learn what people to avoid and which people to spend our time with based in large part on things we learn growing up. However another large contributing factor is what society dictates. From society we learn to develop cliques and also that it is normal to avoid those who are different then us. The main source of acquiring ego fears differs for everyone, with family and society having different levels of prominence.

Unlike with basic instincts, ego fears can actually harm us and not allow us to be our best self. Many times we have tasks to accomplish that take several times longer because our fears don't allow us to push forward with ease. The natural man knows that staying the same is the easiest path to take. Anything that requires change becomes difficult because of the fear of failure, because this is a significant blow to our ego and pride.

But what about the need to step outside of the normal to put ourselves in a better position. Familiar examples of this can be seen in the work environment. So many times we could acquire a better position at a different job. But doing so would force us to end our current situation, which we know very well. More importantly we know that it works for us, at least to some degree. So we often stay with the mediocre instead of the great that is available.

Who do we see getting to the top? Those who have learned to control their fears in a wise way and have put there ego on the line. So how do we overcome our ego fears so we can gain the rewards? A simple way to do this is to force ourselves to take risks. While difficult the first time, and even every time down the road, it gets easier with repetition. Just like riding a bike, you don't master the technique till you have fallen and gotten scraped up a few times.

Taking risks in one aspect of our lives can make it easier for us to take risks in other aspects of our lives, whether related or unrelated. Allow me to share a personal example to fully illustrate this point. On a mission I learned how to talk to people. Over the course of two years repeated action allowed me to overcome my fear of talking to people I don't know. Entering into post mission life I noticed that it was easy to transfer this lack of fear into a different realm. Girls became my new focus and naturally I was terrified to talk them and ask them out on dates. But remembering the principles learned while constantly being rejected on the mission allowed me to have a confidence that taking these actions would again allow me to grow in a similar but different arena. Now a certain amount of that fear has left and has been replaced by new abilities. But I didn't get to this point without receiving rejection along the way.

I could go on and on about this, but I think I will end with one encouragement. Take more risks that will allow you to better yourself. Doing so will allow you to experience a greater sense of happiness then you currently enjoy.