Relationships with friends, co workers, acquaintances, colleagues, and especially with romantic interests can be complicated. We try so hard to please people that we find interesting and that we like. But so often we miss great opportunities to greatly improve the relationships that we have.
Why do we miss these opportunities? I believe that one reason we do it is because we become so focused on what we want to see happen that we don’t recognize the things that will improve the happiness of the other individual.
When interacting with our friends it is uncommon to seek to make the other person upset by intentionally avoiding the things that bring them the most joy. In my experience we genuinely seek for the betterment of our friends and loved ones. Why then do we not see the opportunities placed before us? The obvious answer is simply because we don’t see them. However I think that there is more to it in many cases.
In my efforts to try and improve relationships with friends, I have often glanced over the fact that people require different elements of emotional, physical, and mental recognition. I have been guilty of looking only at one aspect when I should have been more observant and understood that the answer was right in front of me. And I’m sure that I am not alone in this fault.
The question then arises, are we being bad friends, or even worse, being bad to our friends? It would be easy to say yes if you were the individual that was needing more and making attempts to improve the relationship. But I really don’t think that it makes us inherently bad people. In these situations I am honestly trying to do things to help my friend, I’m just looking in the wrong places.
Does this suggest that I don’t understand my friends well enough? In some cases I believe that the answer is yes. But even with my closest friends I am not perfect. I find myself all too often missing the cues. The signals that should be setting off red flags. When looking back at different situations it is obvious that I have missed the perfect opportunity to bless someones life.
It is impossible in my mind to notice every signal thrown at you, but I do think that improvements can be made. How can this be done? I don’t have a perfect answer. But the thought that is coming to my mind is to broaden our vision, to be able the step out of our natural thought processes. This requires a significant mental effort, but I think that the pay off can be so rewarding if we can only take a moment to understand the needs of those around us.
Every relationship can be improved, and this is how I am going to attempt to increase the bonds that I have with every one of my friends. But forgive me if I still miss lots of cues. My simple mind cannot understand it all.
1 comment:
It's interesting how that can happen, overlooking what is right in front of you.
Sometimes I think that can be hard because society presents this view that what we have is never enough. This goes for power, materials and even relationships.
I feel the Gospel is very helpful to us so that we don't overlook what we've been given as much. The trick is to not overlook the Gospel.
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